Cyborg's New Pants
by Electric Ammo
Summary: Cy (realizing he's naked) buys some new pants. Little does he realize they cause more trouble than good. PG13 for bad words in later chapters and naked jokes. (Chapter 3 Up.) Please R
1. Da Beggining

This fanfic is dedicated to Cyborg, even though he's basically naked without the metal components. I think that this fanfic tells us what might happen if Cyborg did something about that. Anyway, back to the story.

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Cyborg was having another normal day in the mall. He already passed Game Stop, Target, Wal-mart, and other stores to see what video games to buy for his Nintendo Gamecube. It took hours, but he couldn't find anything to buy. He couldn't come back to Titan Tower empty handed, so he tried to buy some other things. He already bought some stuff to place in his room and he was now eating at the snack bar, thinking of what to buy next. 'I could go to the arcade, but I already have the high score in all the games there.' He thought as he continued to sip the 7up he was drinking. The other Titans were too busy to go buy games with him. Even Beast Boy, who loved video games, was too busy trying to break another tofu-eating record, didn't come with him. He was too bored and needed something to buy.

Suddenly, a small kid came up to him. He was about five years old and had a giant lollypop in his mouth. The kid had blond hair, blue eyes, and a shirt that said "Smart Kid" and had a baseball cap. He took out his lollypop and asked Cyborg, "Mister, can I ask you a question?" "Sure, why not," Cyborg replied. The kid nervously asked, "Why are you running around naked?" Cyborg couldn't belief what he was hearing! A kid told him he was naked! He couldn't be, could he? He looked at his body, which was covered in mostly metal. He told the kid, "If I'm naked, then why do I have metal covering me?" he asked the kid, annoyed. "Well, if the metal parts are part of you, they count more as skin. Since you have mostly have metal all over you, you're technically walking around naked." Cyborg never thought of it that way. He covered his body to make sure no one was noticing. It was too late though.

A random guy who was listening to the kid yelled, "HEY EVERYONE!!! CYBORG'S RUNNING AROUND NAKED!!! LET US ALL POINT AND LAUGH AT HIS HUMILIATION!!!" At that moment, everyone in the mall was pointing and laughing at Cyborg. Some of the girls even covered their eyes and screamed, knowing there was a boy running around naked in the mall.

Cyborg was never so embarrassed. He could feel sweat rushing down his face. His face went all red in shame and his legs were trembling. His sensors even indicated his embarrassment level was increasing rapidly, going off the charts. He needed to find some pants to cover his body. He then saw a store that was called, "PANTS R' US." 'How covenant!' he thought as he ran to the store.

Inside, everyone was still pointing and laughing, but a clerk came to him and told everyone, "Run along now, nothing to see here." Everyone then just returned to his or her normal lives. The clerk then asked Cyborg what he wanted. "Well, I need some pants to buy." The clerk then took him to the back of the store. He gave Cy some boxers to wear to cover his lower body. The boxers were pure black and had "Hanes" labeled on it. The guy then showed Cyborg all the pants they had in the store. The normal kids size was too small, so he brought Cy to the men's section.

Cy was looking all day for the right size of pants. The shorts were too short, the jeans were too hard to walk in, the silk ones ripped too often, and the ones with pockets were uncomfortable. He even wondered to himself how he was able to wear pants while he was all human. The clerk thought all day, but he still didn't found the right size of pants for Cyborg. Finally, he had an idea. He brought Cy to a secret door with tons of locks on it. The clerk then punched in a pin code that unlocked the door and allowed the two in. Inside, there was a giant laboratory that had tons of gizmos and gadgets and fancy technology stuff. "Dude, what is this lab doing in the middle of a store in the mall," Cyborg asked, confused on how all this fit in the store. "Well, the government allowed me to invent new types of pants here," the clerk answered.

He brought Cyborg to a room that had a single pair of pants. It was silver colored and even shinned like silver. "This is the special pants I invented for superheroes," the guy told Cy. Then, a flamethrower came out of the ceiling and blasted the pants. Surprisingly, the pants were unharmed. Then, tons of missiles, machine guns, and lasers came out from the ground and blasted the pants. Even after all that, the pants were still unharmed. The pants were then attacked by a lot of other things. Bombs, Electricity, you name it. The pants lasted though all of this. "The best part is, it's a one size fits all," the guy told Cy.

Cy couldn't believe this! A pair of pants that was fit for him. He tried on the pants. It was light and good looking to him. He loved it. "I'll take it!" Cyborg told the clerk, excited to keep them on. He then paid for the boxers and pants and headed out the door, excited to show the gang his new pants, which he was wearing.

To be continued...

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Cyborg seems to enjoy his pants, but what would happen next? The later chapters will have tons of action, drama, and wedgies! Toon in next time on "Cyborg's New Pants"! 


	2. Results from da Pants

Hi guys! Thanks for reading up to here in this fanfic. I was bored to heck, so I stopped writing this fanfic because my originality was starting to lose. One thing that ticks me off is that have so many pairings, like RobStar, BBRae, RobRae, BBStar, CyRae, CyJinx, etc. Why do people put so many pairings in their fanfics, it's so annoying! Not that I have anything against pairings, it's just that people overuse it. Anyway, I'm gonna answer a bunch of questions or comments right now for the current reviews.

Wild Spirit of Darkness2: Thanks, I thought at the time, "Why hasn't anyone notice Cy was naked all this time?" and the idea hit me. Thanks for reviewing...

Jonakhensu: ok, first of all, who the heck is Washu? And even if I knew, how would I explain that question? Anyway, thanks for reviewing...

Swing your arms, from side-to-side,

Come on it's time to go,

DO THE MARIO!

Oh, sorry, I was singing and dancing the Mario.

Anyway, back to the story...

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Cyborg was walking back to the Tower, when a bunch of fan girls went up to him and screamed, "OMG! It's Cyborg!" and did those usual fan girl surroundings. Cy thought that they were just normal fans that liked the Titans for saving the city all the time. One of them then said, "You know, normally Robin and Beast Boy are my favorites, but you look so hot in those Pants!" Cy couldn't believe in what he was hearing! Someone actually didn't see him for his metallic parts and liked him about them, which usually results and rarely occurs. He then signed some stuff and left to a basketball court. Everyone there also liked him a lot and acknowledged him as a great guy. Cy thought this was the greatest day of his life. The people liked him more than the others, which also rarely happens. He should've bought pants years ago! He continued to get worship, free stuff, and other good fortunes along the way back to the Tower. The people seemed to just see him as a normal person and not a freak for once. He then returned to the Tower with tons of gifts and junk the people gave to him. He felt too good today, just like those feelings you get having an A on the finals for Stanford or Harvard. 

When he returned the Titans greeted him the same usual way, then Beast Boy saw his pants. "Dude, what's up with the pants?" the changeling asked Cy. "Well, I got some bitching new pants, since I now notice that I was naked this whole time. Raven and Starfire looked confused. Raven asked, "Wait a minute, you were naked this whole time?" "Ummm... Yeah, why?" Starfire and Raven both covered their eyes, screaming, "AAAHHH!!! Our Virgin Eyes!" as their noses anime bleed like what perverts do when they feel horny. Anyway, he told them on how he found out he was naked this whole time and how he bought the spanking new pants. He showed them the presents he got and how everyone liked him better with his new pants. "Dude, that's so not fair! All he had to do to get the attention I wanted for weeks with some new pants!" Beast Boy. Before anyone else could react, the alarm in the Tower went off. The scanners showed that the HIVE was stealing loot from the bank. Robin screamed, "Titans! Go!" and everyone ran to the bank.

Back at the Bank of Jump City, Jinx, Mammoth, and Gizmo were stealing stuff. Gizmo's high tech stuff tied up all the guards, so no one was protecting the innocent civilians. "This must be the easiest heist we ever did, not with those bothersome Titans in our way," Jinx pouted as they collected most of the money in the bank. "Yeah, without those snot brains stopping us, this must be the simplest robbery ever," Gizmo, cheered. Suddenly, the Titans broke through the wall, stopping the HIVE in their tracks. Jinx was about to tell the team, "Attack Group Beta!" which was their new battle technique, but then her eyes went on Cyborg. He seemed different from his normal self. The pants that he was wearing made him look so sexy. She never notices this before. She was "turned on" and wasn't able to say anything, only sweat. Gizmo asked, "Ummm... Hello? Are you ok?" Suddenly, she fell to the ground, still physically aroused and was unable to move. The two thought that they were going to attack anyhow, so they charged at Cyborg. Cy grabbed Mammoth by the arms, and Mario swung him. He then let go and sent Mammoth flying into the air, about four or five hundred feet into the air. 'Wow! I never knew I was that strong! Must be the Pants.' He thought to himself. Gizmo started attacking Cy with his technology, missiles and all, and taunted him with names like, "Barf Brain." Cy then insulted, "Green Smurf!" Gizmo was stunned. No one was able to think of a comeback to his mockery before, so he then said "Metal Freak!" Cy then insulted, "Fink rat!" They kept on insulting each other with names, until Cyborg called Gizmo a "Motherfucker." "Hey! You can't say that! That's a bad word," Gizmo pointed out. "Yeah! Well what's ya gonna do 'bout it?" Cyborg taunted. Gizmo then busted into tears and ran into a wall, knocking him out. Mammoth then fell through the ceiling and also knocking him out.

**(Insert Final Fantasy (6) Victory song here)**

Cy: YEAH! Told you I was too good for them!

**Cyborg Level up! Level: 35 (add 1)**

HP: 670 (add 55), MP: 550 (add 20)

Gil: 3554 (add 550)

Found: High Tech Backpack, Phoenix Down, Jinx's Bra.

**(You can stop singing/humming/imagining the Final Fantasy Victory Song now, I'm serious)**

As the authorities came to came to pick up the criminals, Gizmo complained that the HIVE lost. "...And we could've gotten away too. If it weren't for those meddling superheroes and Cyborg's pants..." Gizmo complained. Lots of fan girls then crowded around Cy, asking for autographs and stuff. "Gee, Cyborg's became popular since his pants," Robin thought as the crowd surrounded him. After everyone left, the Titans went to buy some pizza. They were all happy that Cy won a battle all by himself. "And I wouldn't done it if I hadn't had pants," he told his teammates. They were all happy for Cy, since he was all-confident and stuff. Although Cy seemed the same, something about his pants didn't seemed right to Robin. Raven also notices this too. He hasn't been the normal, humble Cyborg that he was always. Suddenly, an explosion erupted in the local pants factory. The Titans ran to see what was the problem. All the employees were hanging on their underwear/boxers by thousands of floating gloves. The villain had a chain for a belt and was wearing baggy pants and shirt. He had an antenna on his head that controlled all the hands. He said, "All right Titans, Jump City, and all those who wear undies. Feel the full wrath of... THE WEDGIENATOR!!!"

To Be Continued...

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Interesting, isn't it? If you have anything on your mind about this fanfic, my ripped-off jokes, etc. Send them via the reviews or my e-mail. 

FF Victory Song copyrighted by Nobou and Squaresoft.


	3. Da Battle of da Wedgies

Hi guys! Sorry I haven't made a new Cy's New Pants for a while, it's just I wanted there to be a real plot, so I spent some time brainstorming… The battles are now going to be RPGish (as in it's the Final Fantasy Battle Sequence). You could almost call this fanfic "Final Fantasy: Teen Titans!" Anyway, someone asked me a while back on what's the FF Victory Song… To answer that, you have to type "Retro Final Fantasy I-VII MIDI Collection" on google, click on the first selection, scroll down to "Final Fantasy VI (FFIII in U.S.A.)", and click on "Victory." To note in my story, Robin's a fighter, Starfire's a Tamaran/White Mage, Beast Boy's a Trainer (he's his own animal), Raven's a Black Mage, and Cyborg's an Alchemist. Anyway, back to the story…

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The gang then broke into battle (play **Final Fantasy 5 Battle Music** here) 

**Robin**: Level: 40 HP: 2200 MP: 30

**Starfire**: Level: 40 HP: 1350 MP: 100

**Beast Boy**: Level: 35 HP: 2000 MP: 70

**Raven**: Level: 45 HP: 770 MP: 125

**Cyborg**: Level: 35 HP: 670 MP: 0

**Wedgienator**: Level: 50 HP: 4400 MP: 250

Robin, who was up first, selected "attack" and whacked his staff onto the Wedgienator, thus causing 150-damage. Starfire was up next and used "starbolts" on the enemy, making 500-damage. Wedgienator then used his special attack "atomic wedgie" and hooked Robin and Starfire on his floating hands and hanging them out of the battle. Raven noticed the villain's plans and noted to her teammates, "He's trying to push all the team out of the battle, thus making him the victor, we must defeat him before it's too late!" She cast, "Firaga" on the Wedgienator, causing there to only have half his HP left. The Wedgienator was furious. "I'll teach you to mess with me!" He then cast "Multiple Hand Blast," which was all his hands shoot laser beams at one person, onto Beast Boy and knocked his HP to zero. Cyborg then reached for his pocket for a Phoenix Down and told Raven, "Keep him busy as I revive Beast Boy!!" After healing the changeling, Beast Boy transformed into a giant bear and used swipe on the enemy, doing 350-damage. The Wedgienator then used his ultimate attack, the "Killer Wedgie of Pain and Destruction," on Cyborg and latched him onto a flagpole. Raven then selected "Dark Powers" and lifted a truck and slammed it onto the enemy, thus knocking out his entire HP and ultimately ending the battle.

You can stop singing the **Final Fantasy 5 Battle Song** now, because you now sing the **Final Fantasy Victory Song (6)!**

**Teen Titans** received 2458 Gil and Levitating Gloves.

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After the battle (and the song), everyone cheered for the Titans, but stopped soon as they saw Cyborg. He was hanging on his underwear in an atomic wedgie. Suddenly, a random guy, the same one from the mall, scream, "Hey everyone! Cyborg's hanging on his underwear in an atomic wedgie! Let us all point and laugh at his humiliation yet again!!!" Everyone, including the rest of the Titans, was in a laughing position and pointed at Cyborg. He was feeling as humiliated as when he was in the mall. That night the rest of the Titans tried to cheer him up, but it was no use. He went to bed early, so he could get his mind off of the whole thing. 

Back in jail, the Wedgienator and all his hands were tied up and stuffed in a cell. Inside the other cells were different villains the Teen Titans defeated and were also tied. All of a sudden, a sound was coming from the Wedgienator's belt. It sent a holographic projection, showing Brother Blood on the screen. "I see that you've failed, my servant and student," Brother Blood told the multiple-hand human. "Did you sent the virus to Cyborg?" The Wedgienator smiled. He told Brother Blood, "Yes… I have master. Even though I lost, my battle was not in vain. The virus transferred into the pants while I gave that metal freak the wedgie of a lifetime. To put it short, the first part of Operation GOLLUM was a success. All you need to do is activate the virus." Brother Blood then thanked the villain and told him that a team of some of the best students from HIVE was coming shortly to free him from prison. Brother Blood then pushed a button and laughed at what was going to happen next.

Back at the Tower, everyone was fast asleep and was sleeping peacefully. Zooming into Cyborg's room, we see him sleeping while his pants were on the desk next to him. Suddenly, the pants began to glow and sprang to life. It jumped into a standing position and leaped off of the table and put itself onto Cyborg. Cyborg then started to go berserk internally. The blue parts of him were turning green and he sprouted a black fro. His gun then morphed into a missile launcher and his red eye flashed yellow. After the transformation, he turned back into normal, only leaving the fro and the pants. The pants then fused into his legs and waist and stood stile there. Then the rest of the night continued without interruption…


End file.
